God’s Dream for Us

Sometimes I marvel at how quickly life  passes by and days become weeks, and years become decades.  Mike and I have now been married for nearly 27 years and that seems impossible.  It was just last year (in my mind) that we stood at twilight’s edge in an outdoor ceremony and promised that we would stay together no matter what life brought our way.  Have you ever thought about the unfairness of those vows?  Seriously, who can ever know what lies ahead beyond the white dress, the flowers, the well wishes, the ceremony, the rings, the promises?  Thankfully we can only see the here and now or no one would ever repeat those oh-so-simple vows to say but harder to live out!  I think I’m hearing resounding “Amens” floating through the universe right now.

Marriage began with many dreams of our future jobs, houses, travels, children, etc.  Looking back God has allowed so many of those dreams to come to fruition but in some cases, He altered our dreams.  He gave us His dream for us instead.  Surely that is the case with our children.  Our dream was a houseful of six little girls.  Somehow they all had long blond hair and played peacefully in flowing white dresses in fields of daisies.  There was never dirt or pain included in our dreams.  But in God’s dream, there would still be six children but they looked and played out far differently than in our dreams.

Our first three little ones lived in my body for far too short a time and then moved to the Heavenly nursery which in my estimation is much too far away.  We believed they were girls and named them Faith, Hope, and Charity.  Ironic isn’t it?  Those three character traits flow so easily together in the Bible.  Little did we realize they would fall in succession in our family heritage as names of our “angels.”  Then came our sweet Emma.  In our dream she would be perfect and healthy.  In God’s dream she is a mess!!!  But a perfect mess.  She is nearing age 13 and still doesn’t walk or talk but she is full of personality.  Oh, how I love that girl.

Our amazing Emma Grace

We dared to dreamed once more and again God trumped our dream by giving us Jonathan Michael.  A beautiful, perfectly round-cheeked, full term baby boy who went to Heaven during delivery.  I will forever cherish those moments of holding him against me and feeling the weight of him in my arms.

Dreaming became too painful after Jonathan and so we stopped dreaming.  Our home would be complete with just the three of us.  Emma was enough.  She kept us busy and we cherished the opportunity to be her parents.  We pushed her hard to reach her potential and tried to give her everything we possibly could that resembled a normal life.

We were through dreaming but God wasn’t.  In His humorous and loving way, He dreamed about one more child for us.  To our GREAT surprise, Spencer Michael came along and absolutely rocked our world.  It was an anxiety-filled pregnancy but God was so gracious and we were blessed to deliver a son that celebrated his 8th birthday just three days ago.

Spencer...God's amazing gift to us.

Spencer completed our family in a way we never could have dreamed of on our own.  He is absolutely 100% Heaven sent.  He is hand-picked by God to be the brother that Emma needs.  Tender hearted and a dreamer.  He is all boy.  He is a clone of his father in looks, actions, and intellect.  He loves God and has a huge reservoir of compassion for others.

We all dream.  Some dreams are unrealistic.  Some are terrifying.  Some are filled with our hearts desires.  Some are selfish.  Some are within reach but met with fear.  But the best dreams are those that we don’t even dream for ourselves.  Those that are born in the heart of God within the corridors of Heaven.  Those are the best ones.

Often God’s dreams for us take a while to unravel and come to fruition.  We see His stages of development as painful, or uncaring, or not in our best interest, or unfair.  How silly we are to doubt that the One who created us would ever dream of anything other than that which is best for us.

I’m sad for all the times I’ve doubted that His dreams for me were far better than my dreams for myself.

What are you dreaming of?  Perhaps you should join me in surrendering your dreams and accepting the dreams God has for you.

Blessings to you,

Renee

The Richness of Spring

Photograph Credit Michelle Delgado

 

I love the changing of the seasons.

 

Wasn’t God good to give us variety in nature?

 

Here are some things about springtime that bless me:

 

 

Dogwood trees reminding us of Christ
Tulips opening
Redbirds and bluejays tweeting
Children running in fresh grass
The smells of flowers wafting
Tractors turning soil
Rain falling
Little girls wearing hats and gloves
Animals unburrowing
Fog rising from the mountains
Easter baskets overflowing
Neighbors waving
Dust swirling on the prairies
Garden plantings chosen
Fresh wardrobes adorning
Water cascading over rock beds
Pastels and bright color palettes competing

Salads debuting on menus
Whistling
Laundry airing
Green undergrowth transforming forest floors
Restlessness stirring
Readying of porches for warmer weather
Brush piles burning
Woodpeckers pecking
Purple heather blooming

Life generally seems fresh and new in spring.

Oh the bliss of springtime!

And the Winner is…

Thanks to those of you who posted a comment for the free Sally Clarkson book.  The winner has been chosen and will be notified on Monday.

Tomorrow I’m starting another book giveaway so gather all your friends and send them to my blog to subscribe.  Tell them to leave a comment anytime this week (until Saturday at midnight) and they will be entered into the drawing for a Sally Clarkson book on Biblical Motherhood.

Also, please ask your friends and family to “like” the facebook page for HearMyHeartbeat.

Blessings to you…praying you have a productive week ahead.

Renee

Weekend Giveaway and Celebration – A Gift to You

Weekend Giveaway and Celebration

It’s Friday and for many people means winding down the work-week and looking forward to weekend events and time with the family.  FAMILY…I love that word.  There is no more sacred institution than the one God created first…the family unit.  It was His plan that a husband and wife cultivate a home and marriage and bring children into the world.

What I understand about myself is that I don’t know everything I need to know to be the wife and momma that God created me to be.  God chose the children the I would mother and equipped me with what they needed but it’s up to me to cultivate and bring to harvest those attributes so that my children receive from an earthly momma what God intended for them to have.  How do I do that?  By studying God’s word and learning from other Godly women who have gone before me on this journey of motherhood.

Much of what I know about mothering I learned from my grandmother (Ninnie) and from my own mother.  I learned how to cook, clean, nurture, plant gardens, can and freeze the harvest, and to give love completely freely and unconditionally.  Am I successful in all of those areas?  Not always…I did not inherit the Martha Stewart gene for cleaning!!!  LOL

Spiritually, I needed to learn more about God’s role for mothers and how to practically apply God’s truths in our home and write God’s words upon the hearts of my children.  Nine years ago, Memorial Day weekend in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Sally Clarkson entered my world and changed my view of Biblical motherhood.  She became my Titus 2 mentor in this area of life.  I had no idea at the time, how much her life and wisdom would impact my life and the lives of my children.

At that conference, Sally spoke about “touching your child’s heart for eternity.”  I was captivated, convicted, and convinced that I needed to learn so much more from this Godly women.  I have become a student of Clay and Sally Clarkson.  I own every book they have written, attend conferences at every opportunity and have been privileged to spend a weekend at the home in Colorado learning to be a more effective writer and speaker.

God has worked in amazing ways and now all these years later, Sally has gone from being a woman on a stage that I admired to being a dear, personal friend and friend.  Months ago, Clay and Sally began working on creating a new blog that would serve as a place for moms who are searching for encouragement, advice, and practical ways to reach their children’s hearts for eternity.  They enlisted the help of two of my amazing friends, Kristen Kill and Misty Krasawski and now the dream is a reality!!!

Blog address: www.momheart.org

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/MomHeartOnline

Facebook page is MomHeart: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mom-Heart/277016095700479

To celebrate the launch of the Mom Heart blog, I am giving away one of Sally Clarkson’s books.  All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below.  The winner will be selected on Saturday night!!!  Your choices include: Mission of Motherhood, Ministry of Motherhood, Seasons of a Mothers Heart, or Dancing with my Father.  Any of these books will be a tremendous blessing to you or any mother you know.

Just leave a comment and let me know which book you would like to receive if you are the selected winner.

Blessings to you as you begin your weekend,

Renee

Beautiful Feet

As I was getting ready for church this morning, I read this verse in a blog post and it really set my mind to work.  I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

Our son Spencer's 7-year-old feet!

Isaiah 52:7 says “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!”

I began thinking about all of the pastors, preachers, missionaries, evangelists, and ministry leaders who were all preparing to stand before a congregation bringing good tidings, publishing peace and salvation and proclaiming that our God reigneth.  While we here in America were preparing to listen, folks on the other side of the world had already heard the word of God for today.

How blessed we are that God designed for us to have men proclaim His word and lead us in our walk with the Lord.  Surely, we can read the Bible for ourselves and have our own audience with the Lord through prayer, but it is an added blessing to have a man of God who has studied and prepared to deliver unto us God’s word and a challenge for the week.

God said the feet of those who proclaim His word are beautiful.  Personally, I would not declare feet to be beautiful.  But argue with the Lord? I think not!!!

I was also reminded this morning about a man in our church that purchases socks each year for the missionaries who attend our missions conference each November.  This good and godly man puts several pairs of socks in a gift bag for each missionary, as one gift of many that we as a church give to these families.  He puts a note in each bag that says something like, “I will pray for your feet as you serve the Lord.”  I think I now understand why he does that.  Perhaps he has read the same verse I read this morning.

Today, I am very thankful for the feet of those men who have led me spiritually: Sam Fugate and Richard Spencer shaped my childhood and teen years, Rex McPherson and Tom Lester led us during the first two years of our marriage, Dr. Jack Hyles and Dr. Jeff Owens formed our understanding and shared opportunities working in the ministry, and now Kevin Dail as a counselor and Dr. Rick Finley as a pastor are leading us as we raise our family.  How blessed I am and have been to be influenced by some amazing Godly men.

God please bless the beautiful feet of these servants!  Whose feet are you thankful for today?

Just pondering,

Renée Parris

Blessings Anew

The beginning of a new calendar year gives many people a sense of a fresh start; similar to a blank sheet of paper on which we craft stories anew.  Or a clean slate which has yet to be marred and scarred by mistakes.

For most of us, we will continue doing what we have always done, but being just a smidge more keenly aware of what we do and why we do it, at least for the first few days of the year.  Some of us will truly make changes and implement new habits in an effort to be better in some area of our lives than we are now.

I would like to welcome this year by reflecting on the blessings that I possess for which I often neglect to express gratitude.

These are my Blessings…Giving thanks for them anew…

Stars of brilliant light on a velvet, black sky and sight to see them.  I’ve known blind people who can only imagine.

Sounds of a mountain stream cascading over rocks and ears to hear.  I know the difficulty of speaking with your hands for those who cannot hear or speak.

Laughter.  Losing your breath and laughing until your stomach hurts, even when there is much to cry about.

The bonds of friendship that began when two little girls promised to be Best Friends Forever!  Precious in a world where loyalty is scarce.

The encouragement of people who love and accept me midst all of my shortcomings.  Too many people feel truly alone on this planet.

A lovely home in a sub-division out of our simple league.  Our first home was a one-bedroom apartment in a not-so-great part of town.

The touch of my husband’s leg under the blanket at night…so many people sleep alone while yearning for it not to be so.

Our son’s chubby hands even when fingernails are dirty from too much play…remembering when we had no son.

Our daughter’s bony arms, weakened by cerebral palsy, circling my neck in a hug; quiet lips saying “momma”…remembering those months of ventilation in the NICU when she could make no sounds and praying that I could just hear her little voice one time.

Parents who told me I could be anything I wanted to be and encouraged me to do my best.  I’ve fostered too many children who have been beaten down emotionally by those who should be their biggest cheerleaders.

A house full of siblings who shared my childhood and transitioned into my dearest friends.  Sadly many families are divided and relationships are severed with people who share blood.

Mentors, counselors, teachers, and pastors who have shaped my beliefs and taught me to search the Scriptures for truth.  So many are lost and alone and need encouragement.

A church family that understands we are all “but dust.”  I’ve been in judgmental, unforgiving congregations before and know the loneliness that brings.  I so love my church family.

The celestial sounds of a congregation singing Silent Night and knowing an entire room of people have travelled to Bethlehem in their minds to see that babe in a manger.

The joy of holidays that bring warmth of handshakes and hugs and well wishes for a new year! 

Blessings to you…anew!

Renée Parris

Hello Old Friend

Writer in the Window @ The Paris Market in Savannah, GA

A journal or diary can seem like a confidant or best friend to those who use it regularly.  The art of pouring out heart on paper is therapeutic and cleansing for the mind and emotions.  So to neglect a journal can often bring loneliness to the writer.  A sense of longing to reconnect even though intellectually we realize it is an inanimate object to which we are connected.

For several months, I have neglected my blog.  Purposefully at the onset of this sabbatical; I was trying to figure out which direction the Lord wanted me to take this platform of blogging.  I don’t want it to simply be a place to vent or to collect useless information.  I long for my writings to be Holy Spirit filled and blessed and used to touch the lives of people in need.

However, being a person of many interests and passions left me confused as to which direction to take.  In the same time frame that I was seeking the Lord about my writing, I developed some health problems and recently faced two surgeries for hernia repairs: one umbilical and one ventricle.  It has been a season of being still and quiet and listening for the voice of the Lord.

Now that I am physically feeling somewhat back to normal, my heart is filled with things I wish to get written down in my journal and blog.  God is doing some amazing things in my heart and filling me a stirring to be more effective in ministering to other people, primarily my family.

So to my blog, “Hear My Heartbeat”, I say…it’s good to see you old friend.  It’s been too long.

Blessings to you my readers as you share the journey of my musings.

Renée Parris

Galaxy Girls – Beneath the Stars

A sixth grade girl stood outside on a fall evening and looked up into the night sky that gleamed from light years away.  That year, we lived in Happy Valley at the base of the 3,000 feet Appalachian mountains that I called home.  The valley wasn’t all that wide, maybe 300 feet, so we felt sort of closed in and off from the rest of the world.  Sure, there were places in the town of Hazard where the valley was much wider, but even still, our town was and remains nestled among the coal lined mountains of eastern Kentucky.  Undaunted by city street lights, the stars shine brilliantly over these mountains.  That fall evening was no exception.  One evening, under one star-filled sky, one amazing teacher changed me forever.  That night I ceased to be just another student in a classroom, I became a Galaxy Girl.

There were four of us girls: my sister Sandy, my cousin Debbie, our friend Linda, and myself.  Our teacher, Don Smith, changed our lives during the few years he lived in the mountains.  A place where people and customs were foreign to his mid-western upbringing.  He was a  school teacher who truly understood that teaching is not imparting knowledge but rather imparting a love for learning.

That night in the valley, he stood in our midst outside of the mobile home I shared with my parents and four siblings and he pointed out the big dipper, the north star, and several other stars that he knew by name of course.  He wanted to show us the world.  He wanted to introduce us to the possibility that life was bigger than we could see and that our universe was more vast than the daily world we existed in.

I truly believe that is the year that I saw God as more than just a figure in the sky.  He became personal to me.  I learned from Mr. Smith that God had created me and placed me under the galaxy of stars on purpose and for a specific purpose.  From that day to this, I’ve never looked up at the night sky without being in awe of the God who created such a beautiful ceiling for us to look up to and such an incredible window for Him to look down through.

Seasons of life change and things continue to cycle and now I am the teacher.  This year, I will introduce our son, Spencer, to the night sky as we study astronomy.  I’ve been pointing out the night skies to him since he was a toddler.  Often we look up and he will say, “God did a good job tonight.”  This year in school, we will go deeper and learn more about the stars and universe and somehow I hope to impart to him the same gift Don Smith gave to me.  The realization that God created him and placed him under the galaxy of stars on purpose and for a specific purpose.

Standing in the yard of a mobile home in Happy Valley, two miles north of Hazard, Kentucky on a beautiful fall evening, a young girl was changed forever and went to sleep unaware of the gift she had been given.  I still have report cards that Don Smith signed and after that night in the valley, under the stars, he would always sign “To My Galaxy Girls, Don Smith.”  He made each of us feel special, valued, and he convinced us that teaching us was a joy.

Who are the teachers in your life that have changed you in profound ways?  Perhaps as school is about to begin again for another fall term, this would be a great time to let them know you are aware of the investment they made in your life.

Embracing Valleys

Just pondering this afternoon about embracing the valleys God sends into our lives. There is a level of trusting God that comes in the valley which cannot be experienced elsewhere.  In the valley, He maketh Himself known in sweet ways that remind me of His tender care. Yes, He runs the universe, but as I read in Psalms 138:8 this morning, “The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me.” I love Him more every day and enjoy the valleys where I get to snuggle into His care and REST in the realization that HE is what my life is all about.

How often would we choose to avoid trouble, heartache, pain, discomfort, disappointment and loss?  We would much rather live…

…

By gentle streams than near crashing waves,

In sunshine than in rain,

Under blue skies with white cloud puffs than dark foreboding skies,

In fields of wildflowers than in a thicket of thorns,

On sandy beaches than on rocky terrain,

In quiet harmony than in noisy discourse.

BUT, it is near crashing waves, in the rain, under foreboding skies, amongst the thorns, on rocky terrain, and in noisy places that we most often find HIS still small voice whispering words of love, comfort and encouragement.

I’m embracing MY valley today…will you choose to embrace YOURS?  We all have them!!!  May we use the gift of encouragement to lift one another up and offer support when it is lacking, to offer mercy when needed, and gentle care to one another instead of judgment.

Blessing to you today.

From my heartbeat,

Renee

Perspective

(originally posted as a Note in Facebook on June 1, 2011.)

Perspective is a very powerful tool in maintaining emotional balance.  Most of us live our lives in the present, what’s happening in my world, sort of mode.  Selfishness or self-preservation are God-given traits that in and of themselves are not bad possessions.  We long to make sense out of what happens in our circle and how those events impact our lives and the lives of those we love.

Emma waiting to be taken into surgery for spinal fusion

Being privileged to parent a special needs child these past eleven years, I have had many opportunities to study the subject of perspective.  I have seen in my own life how perspective can change my outlook and how it can dampen or brighten my spirit.  Many times I have been enjoying the moment of self-pity only to be abruptly pulled away from that self attended party to realize how selfish I am to feel sorry for myself.  For I need look no further than the next hospital bed, as I am doing tonight, to realize how blessed I am.  Often reality will slap me in the face at a physician’s office, therapy waiting room, or even in a public place like a store or restaurant.

Today, I have had my perspective brought back into focus several times.  These are just a few of the scenarios God used today to show me how small my problems are: a one-week old, 3 pound little boy undergoing open heart surgery; a beautiful little girl with a grossly enlarged and deformed face, laughing in the hallway as she chased her mom; a grandma crying over her granddaughters struggle to breathe around a cyst forming on her throat; a beautifully dressed, hair bow clad baby girl with a trach to assist her in breathing and the mom trying to juggle baby, stroller, and equipment; a doctor in the hallway, grasping for words to explain the prognosis that parents didn’t want to hear.

What is it that is the subject of your pity party?  What in your life is so big and consuming that you can’t see around it to realize how blessed you are?  I’m thanking God this morning that my daughter can see and hear and feel.  No, she can’t speak and yes she has to be carried everywhere she goes, but we have no problems compared to those I shared time and space with at UNC Children’s Hospital today.

I have found in my own journey through grief and loss that perspective is the road that either carries me deeper into sadness or brings me closer to healing.  It depends on which way I travel on that road called perspective.  If I must walk that journey of loss and grief and chronic illness then I want to walk in a way that will encourage my fellow journeymen.  I want to be a light to those around me, a beacon of hope that helps them realign their perspective.

God continually uses people and circumstances to realign the perspective from which I view the world.  In the end, what matters is what I did with my load.  I’ll keep mine and be thankful that it is light in comparison to what I see other bear.

From my heart,

Renee Parris